Ouch. European Burn

Watching this clip made me think of the times that people made fun of my brother. It's only okay if I do it, when other people do it I get offended. David Cameron did you really have to go there?

Ignorance is Bliss

I'll be honest, there are many Bulgarian things that I don't understand. Why does shaking your head mean yes while nodding your head means no? Why do they like to serve food that should be hot cold, but will not hesitate to microwave pickles which should be cold? Why does my school give 15-20 min breaks between classes so kids can get food but then are shocked when the kids are late since 736 people are all standing in line trying to get snacks at the same time. I don't understand any of this. However the latest fetish to boggle my mind is mostly occurring in America and its name is Chatroulette. The basic premise of this website is that you can randomly video chat with strangers all across the world, clicking next as you please. A friend of mine mentioned that he had seen a satire of this site on South Park and had to check it out. He was so shocked and horrified that a group of us had to see what the fuss was all about. After a few libations we all gathered in front of the computer and decided to test our fate. We were so excited to see people at first but were being quickly nexted by one person to the next until we landed on a girl in a very compromising position. I expected to see men being voyeurs but not a lady. She remained this way until she dexterously used her foot to click the next button without every revealing her face. Also I should have been careful what I wished for because it seemed like from then on out every guy was sitting with the camera positioned at seductively to accomplish what I don't know. It just seemed to ridiculous to me that I couldn't stop laughing. Maybe I just don't have that voyeuristic instinct in me. I've taken an accidental foray into this arena when I didn't realize for about a week after moving into my apartment that my curtains were indeed see through. I immediately bought blinds, I didn't install a webcam and make a show of it.

Luckily the internet went down and we focused our attention back to more productive activities and conversations, which is what friends are supposed to do when they are together. I think our biggest problem with this site and the people on it, who are mostly American, is that they have the opportunity to go out and meet and interact with each other. Living abroad in small towns we don't have the same luxury and use the internet as an outlet to keep our relationships and friendship alive. It seems that this site is just another hinderance to actual human connection. I wonder what they'll think up next.

Who knew Larry King would bring so much joy to my life?

You're welcome.

Me Fail English? Umpossible.

By now you've all probably heard me rant and hate on Stephanie Myers. I've found an ally in this fight for the mind of the teenager in an article recently published on The Daily Beast. 

How to Make American Teens Smarter

First of all, if you don't know The Daily Beast, check it out. It's smart, entertaining, informative, and while it does have a liberal slant there are plenty of conservative opinions offered. 

Anyhow,

I'm so glad to know that I'm not alone in people so sick of the "Harry Potter Defense". When someone argues that at least we're getting kids to read. I don't buy it.  Reading Twilight does not count as reading any more than reading the back of a cereal box.  I think part of the reason why this topic infuriates me to no end is the fact that I am now a teacher and see first hand what this is doing to children in Bulgaria. Last week I gave a test in which they had to spell words in Bulgarian. Some of them failed to spell "fruit" and "rice" correctly,  points for me for recognizing that they were spelled incorrectly.  I know the brain isn't technically a muscle (thank you wikianswer for making me not look stupid), but it still needs to be challenged and stimulated. I've taken to the extremely dorky habit of reading with post-its instead of bookmarks so I can write down words that I don't know the exact definition of and look them up later. Am I taking the GRE soon? Yes. Will I continue this practice when I'm done? Maybe. Do I hope that I will? Definitely. 

I don't know if there was a point to this post other than me wanting to stick it to Stephanie Myers and her battered wife at 18 heroine. Seriously Bella, if your boyfriend finds it hard not to KILL you that's when it's time to get out of the relationship. I'm pretty sure Scruff McGruff had a PSA about that. 

Bust-A-Rhyme

Me: This test is going to be easy breezy.
Kaloyan: Freezy
Ivan: Cheesy
Tsvetomir: Young Jeezy


Like you wouldn't die laughing. I live for little moments like this...

Happy Women's Day

So today is apparently not just a Bulgarian holiday but an international holiday. Who knew? I dedicate today to the most absolute amazing woman I know. My mom. It may be cliché  but it's true. What can I say? She's awesome. So mom know that I love you and that this song will forever make me think of you.

един ден: One Day

The alarm clock sounds. 6:50. Today I won't be late for school I hate being late. 7:59 I'm greeted by the kind old man who sits at the entrance of the school corralling the youngest students of the school. He attempts to get them to stop running. His attempts are futile. He says he will beat them tomorrow. Maybe he isn't as kind as I thought. 8:00. Leaving the oasis of calm to venture into the corridors of my school. It's immediately like stepping through the looking glass. I never understood why my colleagues would become so livid when students ask for them, knocking harshly on the door of the teacher's lounge. I do now. They are two separate worlds, one is a place of escape from the other. I sit there, mostly listening to gossip, the latest recipes, or the general frustrations that are common at this time of year. The corridor is a completely new world. Lord of the Flies springs to mind. "Hello Ms." One of my students. He has a black eye again. I wonder where he got it this time. He lives at the orphanage, but I think that's the least of his problems. He asks me to translate something for him. It's the letter "m". He asks me when I'm going to come back to the orphanage. I tell him I don't know. I turn to walk away as he's asking me something else, I pretend to not understand. I feel guilty for doing this but he frustrates me. I try to be patient because I know he doesn't understand respect and social cues , he was never taught and has never learned, but somedays I just can't. 8:05. I prepare myself for my most difficult class. I talk to their class teacher. He's a hoary, stout, man. A pensioner forced out of retirement. He will retire again after this year. He tells me that that they're stupid, that they're lazy. I wonder how many times he told them this before they started to believe him. I wonder how many times he will have to tell me this before I do. I'm greeted at the the door, by 26  rambunctious 6th graders. Good Morning. How are you? Do you have your homework? I say this every day. Repetition is key. I repeat repetition is key."Gosposho!! I have homework" He's the only one. I try and decipher what it is that he has pieced together. It was a fill in the blank activity. I'm not sure how he even found these words. I realize he filled in the blanks with the instructions from a previous assignment. I ask him to read the instructions in Bulgarian. He struggles. He can't. Unfortunately, and much to my dismay, this is not uncommon. I struggle. The room is so loud, too loud. I promised myself I wouldn't yell. I try to teach, they do everything they can not to learn. There's a birthday. I'm offered chocolate. He says something, the class laughs. I don't understand. I'm told he said "Take it my sweet little angel". My authority is continuously undermined. We continue. Tensions are mounting, I'm not sure why but from months of not understanding their words, I've come to understand their body language. Quicker than I can reach them they begin to fight. Unfortunately, and much to my dismay, this is not uncommon. They've learned I'm deceptively strong and as unrelenting as they are. I hold the larger one back, he fights because he can, the smaller one is wiping away tears, he fights because he has to. 8:45. Exhale after it feels like I've been holding my breathe for 45 minutes. 9:00, 10:00, 11:00, 12:00, 1:00...The classes are a blur. 2:45 I go up to the orphanage. We color or I help them with homework. They are so excited to see me, they are so excited to have someone notice them. It's exhausting but the good kind of exhausting. The "what I came to Bulgaria to do" exhausting. Make a quick get away during their snack time at 4:00. 5:00 I study Bulgarian. Once a tedious chore now keeps me sane. My tutor's family has made me their surrogate daughter. I think I'd forgotten what it was like to have someone care for you, have someone care about you. They make my days here worthwhile. We talk about work, we talk about school, we talk about anything. We talk. We watch Wheel of Fortune in Bulgarian. I'm excited because I can play. The beauty is that you just say letters. I can do that. We watch the news while we eat dinner as a family. I think my last family dinner was sometime in the early to mid 90s. 8:00 I return home satiated mentally and physically. I feel energized and recharged, not knowing if tomorrow will be better but at least still hoping that it will be.